


Learning The Hard Way Is Never Easy

by Super_Secret_Slash_Agent



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Dean, Car Accidents, Coming Out, Dean Needs A Hug, Hurt Dean, I Made Myself Cry, I lied, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jess puts him in his place though, John can be a good father sometimes, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Medical Inaccuracies, Poor Dean, Protective Castiel, Sam is a meanie, Tissue Warning, Unsupportive Sam, Wall Sex, You Have Been Warned, i really put him through the ringer, if it ever gets better, it totaly gets better, it wasn't pretty, ugly tears, what is Sam thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 13:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Secret_Slash_Agent/pseuds/Super_Secret_Slash_Agent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Dean's senior year of college and he's finally ready to introduce everyone to his boyfriend, Castiel. He's been worried about how his strict, military, father will react to his son being gay. He didn't expect John to welcome Cas with open arms, but he really didn't expect Sam to react so badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or Dean Winchester although damn do i wish i did.

Dean laughed with his friends, "Oh, God Cas. You should see your face!" 

Jo spoke through her hysterical giggles, "Seriously Castiel, you look like somebody kicked your puppy. All Gabriel did was make a comment about your sex life." 

Castiel tilted his head, "I do not understand, I do not have a puppy, how could someone have kicked a puppy I do not have?" 

Jo giggled harder, "It's a figure of speech dumbo." 

Cas narrowed his eyes at the laughing blonde for a moment, before deciding she was only joking and turned to his brother, "I do not see what is so funny about insinuating I am the woman in the relationship between Dean and myself. It is not true and I do not think it is an appropriate way to think of Dean." Dean's eyes widened and he tried to motion for Cas to stop talking, but the theology major continued, "I would never consider Dean a woman simply because of his position during sexual intercourse." 

Dean let his head fall to the table in defeat as Jo and Gabriel turned to him with wide eyes. Gabriel let his lollipop hang loosely from his open mouth before he grabbed it, "You mean, big tough, man's man, Dean Winchester, bottoms for my quirky stick of a brother?" 

Dean groaned and lifted his head from the table, only to let it fall once again before repeating the action, "Can we please," THUMP "Please," THUMP "Stop talking," THUMP "About this?" Dean let his head fall a final time before turning it and looking up at his boyfriend pleadingly. 

Jo laughed, "No way. You've been Mr. Tough Guy our entire lives, I am so holding this over your head." 

Dean groaned dramatically, his eyes narrowing on Castiel, "You so owe me." 

Castiel smiled, "We shall settle that debt later, in private." Dean smiled, sitting up and getting comfortable in the diner booth as the waitress arrived with their food. 

The table was quiet a moment as the four friends dug into their food. Jo fiddled with her phone a moment before turning to Dean, "Are you going home for fall break this year? I know it's only a long weekend but my parents are bugging me to go back and I would be sooooooo bored if I didn't have you there to make fun of. Also, my mom wants to see you. I'm fairly certain that she still thinks the two of us are going to get married and have 2.5 kids." 

Dean snorted, "As if. You are a cute girl and all Jo, but that would be like marrying my sister." 

Jo scrunched her face in disgust, "I know what you mean. Besides, you are so gay you have rainbows coming out of your ass." 

Dean smirked at his friend, "Remind me, which one of us has the boyfriend?" 

Jo scowled playfully, "Just answer the question Winchester." 

Gabriel looked mock horrified, "Oh no, she brought out the Winchester. You are in trouble now, better do what the lady says." 

Dean waved a dismissive hand at the candy loving trickster, "I was considering it. Kind of thought it would be a good time to introduce Cas to the family." 

Castiel looked up from his food in surprise, "You want me to meet your family?" 

Dean shrugged, "I've been dating you since freshman year, I think it's about time. Besides, I kind of ran out of excuses as to why I don't have a girlfriend yet." 

Dean's smile was sheepish and Castiel sighed, "If you are sure you want to, I would love to meet your family." 

Gabriel looked back and forth between his brother and his brother's boyfriend, "Am I invited, cause there is no way I am missing..." A loud chorus of no's interrupted his sentence and Gabriel looked at the three other people at the table, "Touch-y" Dean, Castiel and Jo laughed and the rest of the meal followed a similar pattern, jokes and laughter filling the air. 

When it came time to go, Castiel grabbed Dean's hand, "Pardon us, but I have a debt to settle with my boyfriend." Dean blushed slightly and the two were chased out of the diner by catcalls and wolf whistles from their friends. 

Dean playful rammed his shoulder into Cas, "Did you have to do that?" 

Cas smiled, a mischevious light glinting in his eyes, "I am simply copying a pattern of sexual innuendo that you often use. Do you not like when I do it?" 

Cas turned to Dean, the picture of innocence and Dean chuckled, "Damn, you do the puppy eyes better than Sammy, and that kid mastered them at the age of four." 

Castiel smiled and placed a quick kiss on Dean's cheek, "I thank you for the compliment. Are you really ready for me to meet him, and the rest of your family?" 

Dean nodded enthusiastically, "I love you Cas, and I want my family to love you to. I'm worried though." 

Cas placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder, "Is this because your father is an ex-marine?" 

Dean chuckled, "No such thing as an ex-marine, but yeah. Growing up, he always taught us to be manly. Fix cars, shoot gun, get girls and drink beer... not that mom knew about that last one. I can't help but think he will think this is wrong, against everything he taught me growing up. What if he can't accept me, us?" 

Castiel squeezed Dean's shoulder, "It will be alright. From what I have hear of your father, he is a good man and will have an open mind." 

Dean laughed, "God, I sound like a chick. Maybe I am the woman in this relationship." 

Cas smiled as they arrived at their apartment, "Perhaps we should test that theory?" 

Dean closed the door behind him and turned with a smile, only for Cas to push him roughly against it. Cas smiled at Dean before lunging forward and closing his mouth over Dean's. Dean responded to the kiss passionately, his hands teasing the skin at the top of Castiel's pants. Cas growled, trying to push Dean farther into the door and separating his legs with a knee. Dean let himself grind into his lover's thigh, letting out quiet moans, which Cas greedily swallowed. Dean let his head fall back, breaking the kiss and leaving the two men panting, "Think we should take this somewhere a little more comfortable?" 

Castiel smiled wickedly and leaned in, licking the shell of Dean's ear and nipping at the tender lobe, "I think here is just fine." Dean gasped at the sensual tone and the sudden surprise when Cas spun them around so Dean was now leaning against the wall next to the door. 

Dean smiled, "Sounds good to me." Cas smiled and attacked Dean's neck, kissing, sucking and licking, leaving his mark for all to see as his hands danced under Dean's shirt, fingers playing across smooth skin. Dean's hands grabbed the bottoms of Castiel's shirt and lifted the shirt over Cas' head, removing Castiel's mouth from his neck for a moment before allowing it to return. Dean's hands moved to his boyfriend's pants but Cas stopped him. Instead, Cas removed Dean's shirt and captured Dean's hands against the wall on either side of his body and thrust their bodies against each other as Cas returned his mouth to Dean's. Castiel explored Dean's mouth with his tounge, intertwining it with Dean's as he relaxed his hold on Dean's hands. Dean soon found one of Cas' hands had transferred to his leg, pulling it up and around Castiel's waist. Dean smiled into the kiss and used the leg to pull Cas closer, their clothed erections rubbing against each other. The two men bucked against each other, searching for friction. Dean let his hand fall to Castiel's waist and trail down to the zipper of his jeans, slowly tugging it open and popping open the button before letting his fingers dip beneath the fabric. Castiel moaned as Dean's hand explored under his underwear, grasping his hard member. When Dean began to softly stroke, Cas pulled away and quickly loosened Dean's jeans before tugging the down, pleased to see Dean had gone without boxers on that particular day. 

Dean noticed Cas' pleased look and smirked, "Like what you see." 

Castiel smiled wider, "Oh most definitely." Cas removed his own pants and underwear before returning to Dean, their now naked bodies pressing together in delightful passion. Castiel produced lube, seemingly from nowhere and applied some to his fingers before reaching between Dean and the wall to press them lightly against Dean's opening. Dean shivered at the feeling as the tip of one of Castiel's fingers breached the ring of muscle, slowly pressing in. The finger moved back and forth before being joined by another as they gently but rapidly scissored Dean open. Dean moaned as a third finger joined, stretching him thoroughly. Cas smiled as he removed the fingers and flipped Dean around to face the wall. Dean braced his arms against the wall as he heard the pop of the cap on the lube and the obscene squelch of the substance as it was liberally coated around a hard pulsing dick. Dean turned his head to the side, allowing Cas to place a kiss on his jaw as Cas lined up his cock with Dean's opening. Castiel pushed in slowly, Dean moaning at the feeling of slowly being filled and the slight but pleasurable burn that came from rushing prep. 

Castiel stopped, allowing his lover to adjust but Dean was having none of that, "Dammit Cas, move." Dean thrust back into Castiel, impaling himself further and allowing Cas to bottom out, his balls resting against Dean's ass. 

Cas smiled, "If that's what you want." Dean grunted in affirmation and Cas pulled back, before slamming forward, keeping up a steady but quick pace as he searched for that spot inside of Dean. 

Dean cried out and Cas smiled, slamming against the prostate a second time, "Cas!" The word was more of a hiss than a moan, but Castiel loved the sound of his name spoken that way. He thrust harder, faster as he hit that place inside Dean over and over. Dean was breathless with pleasure and was soon shooting his load on to the wall. The tightening of Dean's muscles brought Cas over the edge and he released into his lover. 

Cas leaned his forehead against Dean's neck as the two panted heavily, "I believe I have made up for my earlier comments." 

Dean chuckled into the wall, "Yeah, you did Cas." Castiel smiled and pushed himself off of the wall, holding a hand out to Dean when he turned and helping him off the wall. Dean smiled in thanks, "I need a shower now." Cas laughed as he looked Dean over. Dean was covered in the evidence of their sexual activity and looking down at it, slightly irritated, "Better wash this off before it dries." 

Cas smiled, "I will clean up out here, you take a shower." 

Dean smiled suggestively, "Maybe when you are done you can join me in the shower." 

Cas shook his head, "Then there would be no point in you showering." Dean sighed and walked of to the shower. Castiel soon had the room cleaned and traded places with Dean when he finished in he shower. When Cas finished in the bathroom, he came out to find Dean dressed in sweatpants, his head moving back and forth between the TV and his books. Cas sighed, "You never actually study when you watch Dr. Sexy, why do you even try?" 

Dean blushed, "I know, but there's a marathon on." Cas smiled, "At least try to study during the commercials." Dean smiled as Castiel settled in next to him, both men leaning against each other comfortably. 

Cas fell asleep as the show dragged on and woke a few hours later to the sound of Dean's voice. At first, Castiel couldn't tell who he was talking to, then he realized Dean was on the phone. Cas got up and walked towards the voice, listening to the side of the conversation he could hear. "Yeah, I'll be home for fall break. I, um, I want to bring someone. No, it's not... no I mean... Yeah. Thanks Mom. See you Friday. Bye. Love you too." Dean closed his phone and turned around, surprised to see Cas in the door way, "Hey Cas." 

Cas lifted his head in greeting, "Dean." 

Dean rubbed his neck, "That was my mom. I was telling her I was bringing you. Well, not you exactly, just somebody. She asked if it was a girl and I tried to tell her you weren't but she kinda thinks you are and I wasn't sure what to say." Castiel walked forward and placed a soft kiss on Dean's lips, silencing him. Dean smiled in thanks. The two men were quiet as they got into bed, Dean curling up next to Cas and placing his head on Cas' shoulder. Cas smiled into Dean's hair, knowing Dean was more nervous for the weekend than he would ever admit and tried to offer him comfort as they drifted off to sleep. 

The week went by quickly, classes and hanging out with friends all became a blur as the weekend approached. As soon as they finished their last class on Friday, Dean and Cas climbed into Dean's precious 1967 black Chevy Impala and began the two hour drive to Lawrence Kansas. The drive went by fairly quickly and they were soon pulling up to the Winchester house. Dean looked nervous as he turned off the engine, knowing Sam would be out any second having recognized the familiar sound of the engine. Cas gave Dean a quick, reassuring peck on the cheek before they climbed out of the car and grabbed their stuff from the trunk. As they shut the trunk, the front door flew open and a tall, lamky teenager stepped out. Dean's eyes widened as the kid ran up and hugged him, "Damn Sammy, when did you get taller than me?" 

Sam shrugged happily, "Dunno, maybe if you had come home this summer instead of doing that internship you would have seen it happen. Pretty sure Mom went crazy buying me new pants every week." 

Dean reached up and ruffled Sam's shaggy hair, "Sorry Sammy" 

Sam rolled his eyes, "Sammy is a chubby twelve year old kid, I'm eighteen and a senior in high school." 

Dean shrugged, "Doesn't mean you aren't my Sammy." 

Sam huffed in annoyance, deciding to give up and save himself the trouble of arguing. Sam stopped when he saw Cas, "Thought Mom said you were bringing a girl." 

Dean shrugged, "Tried to tell her Cas wasn't a girl, she wasn't listening very well. Anyways, Sam this is Cas, Cas this is Sam." 

Cas held out his hand, which Sam shook firmly, "My name is actually Castiel. I am named after the angel of Thursdays." 

Sam snorted, "Seroiusly dude? You need to choose friends better, this one is just as crazy as Ash." Sam looked him up and down before adding, "Maybe not as much of a drunk though." 

Dean looked mock insulted, "Hey!" 

Sam laughed, "Well, nice to meet you Cas." 

With that, Sam disappeared inside and Castiel turned to Dean, "That wasn't to bad. I think he might even like me." 

Dean laughed, "Sam likes everyone." Dean looked towards the door, suddenly unsure. 

Cas nudged him, "Hey, we can wait till dinner to tell them, no rush. We do this when you are ready to." Dean nodded and took a deep breath before heading through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Dean stepped in the door an excited yell met him. "DEAN!" He turned to see his mom coming towards him, arms open wide. Dean smiled and hugged her, lifting her into the air, causing her to produce a small squeak of protest. Dean grinned as he set her down, laughing when she then shook her finger in his face, "What did I tell you about doing that Dean? I'll let it go this time because I haven't seen you in almost a year. You should come home more often." Mary clasped her hands together as she tried to look past Dean, "Now where is the lovely young lady?" 

Dean sighed, "Mom, Cas is not..." 

Mary smiled as she cut him off, "So her name is Cas, what a lovely name. Is it short for Cassandra or Cassie?" 

Sam snickered as he looked up from the couch, "No mom, Cas is a dude." 

Mary's eyes widened slightly, "Oh, I'm sorry. You said you were bringing someone, I just assumed it was a girl." 

Cas stepped out from behind Dean, offering his hand in a handshake, "It's alright Mrs. Winchester. I understand how you came to your assumption and I am not offended. My name, by the way is Castiel." 

Mary overcame her shock and smiled as she shook the proffered hand, "For the Angel of Thursday, correct. And you can call me Mary, Mrs. Winchester makes me feel old." 

Cas smiled, "Thank you. I'm surprised you know the origin of my name, not many do." 

Deans shrugged, "Mom has always had a thing about angels." 

Mary smiled sheepishly, "Well we are about to start dinner so why don't you two go clean up." 

Dean nodded and led Cas to the small bathroom. They finished washing their hands and stood in the bathroom a moment. Dean looked to Cas, "I'm not sure if I can do this Cas. I want to, more than anything but I don't know if I can." 

Cas placed his hands on Dean's face, cupping it gently, "It's alright. I know that you are trying and that is all that matters." Cas leaned forward and placed a light kiss to Dean's lips before the two made their way to the dinner table. 

Sam and Mary were already sitting at the table, the food in front of them. After looking around, Dean turned to his mom, "Where is Dad?" 

Mary smiled, "Out in the garage, he's gotten himself a new project. Why don't you go get him?" Dean nodded as he went to find his father leaving Cas to talk with his mother and brother. 

Dean smiled as he heard a loud clang followed by a curse. He opened the garage door to see John clutching the back of his head as he moved out from under the hood of a beat up 66 Chevelle. Dean let out a low whistle of appreciation, "Nice wheels. I'd try not to dent the hood with your head if I were you though." 

John looked up to see his son and smiled, "Well, look who decided to come home." 

Dean smiled as he walked forward to inspect the car, "She's nice, 66 right?" 

John chuckled, "I see you still have a good eye for good muscle. You still driving the Impala?" 

Dean turned to look at his father, an almost offended look on his face, "You think I would dream of driving anything else? Baby get jealous, I would never do that to her." 

John chuckled, "So I guess there's no point in asking if you want to help fix this girl up?" 

Dean paused for a moment, "Well, Baby is in perfect condition at the moment, I guess she wouldn't be too mad if I helped out a bit." 

John smiled, "That's what I like to hear. So I'm guessing your mother sent you out, which means dinner is ready." Dean nodded, "Yeah, now come on, I think she made pie for desert." John smiled as he followed his son in the house, stopping to clean up before joining everyone at the table. 

John paused a moment when he saw the young man sitting next to his son and sent a questioning look to his oldest. Dean smiled, "Dad, this is Cas. Cas, Dad." John nodded in greeting and Cas smiled slightly. 

John turned to Mary, "I thought you said he was bringing a girl." 

Mary sighed, "I guess I didn't take the time to listen to our son when he tried to tell me Cas wasn't a girl." 

John huffed slightly, "Damn, thought I was finally gonna have a shot at getting grandbabies." Mary and John laughed, missing the slight wince that came over Dean's features. Cas placed a comforting hand on Dean's knee, knowing that kids had been a sore subject early on in their relationship when Dean had finally decided to accept he was gay. Dean quickly schooled his features and joined in with the typical dinner conversation, his hand occasionally brushing against Cas'. 

During a lull in conversation, Mary turned to Cas, "If I may ask, why is it that Dean brought you? I don't think he has ever mentioned you before." 

Cas looked at Dean who had his head down, looking at his plate. Cas thought a moment but before he could open his mouth to speak, Dean decided to say something. "He's my boyfriend." At the sound of Dean's words, the table went absolutely silent, looks flying back and forth between Mary and John and Dean unable to look up from his plate. 

A quiet laugh broke the tense silence, causing everyone to turn and look at Sam, "Good one Dean, you almost had me there." 

Dean turned to look at Cas, his eyes pleading for help. Cas sighed, "Dean was not joking. We are dating." 

Sam looked shocked, "What!?! But that's, that's..." 

Mary cut in, "It's wonderful dear." Dean's head snapped around to look at his mom. She was smiling softly, "I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy, right John." Dean looked to his father. 

John was silent a moment, "How long have you been dating?" His voice was even and gave no trace of what he was feeling. 

Dean took a breath to steady himself, "Since freshman year actually." 

John looked down, "You have been with another man that long and didn't tell me? Was something wrong? Were you afraid to..." John stopped as he saw the look on his son's face, "You were, weren't you. You were afraid I wouldn't approve." John moved so he was standing next to Dean, a hand on his son's shoulder, "I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel that way. I think it's great that you have somebody to love, who loves you." Dean looked up and John pulled him into a hug before the two separated and returned to their seats. Dean was smiling and placed a hand inside one of Cas'. 

Sam's eyes widened, "You're... I mean... but the girls, and you were... you're a fag?" 

Dean winced and Mary shot a glare at her youngest, "Sam! You don't say things like that." 

Sam huffed, "But it's true isn't it? My brother is nothing but a big fat faggot. I can't believe you are all okay with this. It's wrong, and disgusting." Sam was standing at this point, glaring at everyone. He turned to leave the room but stopped and turned to Cas, "I don't know who you think you are but I know you did something to my brother. Dean isn't gay, you did something to him. What did you do?" Dean's hand tightened around Cas' and Sam huffed and left, the room falling silent in his absence. 

Dean spoke quietly, breaking the stunned silence, "I'm sorry Cas. I didn't think that would happen." 

Cas shook his head, "You don't need to apologize. He is your brother, I'm sure his words hurt you more than they could ever hurt me." 

John stood up, "I'm going to go have a talk with him." 

Mary looked at the two boys at the table and stood to follow her husband, "I think I'll go too." 

When Mary and John were gone, Dean allowed the first tear to slide down his face. Cas brought his boyfriend into his arms, "It is alright Dean. I am sure he was not prepared for the shock of the announcement, that is all that was." 

Dean, still trying in vain to hold back the tears, "Caught me off guard. Didn't think Sammy would have a problem. Maybe I should have known. Did I miss something? Why does he think those things?" 

Cas ran a hand through Dean's hair, "I do not believe he meant what he said. Perhaps he is only angry you did not tell him sooner. It is not your fault." Dean didn't respond to Cas' words so the dark haired man decided to try a different tactic, "I believe your mother said she made pie, perhaps that would make you feel better." 

Dean laughed as he straightened up and wiped his face, "Thanks Cas, you know me so well." Cas smiled and wondered how the talk with Sam was going as they made their way to the kitchen in search of pie.


	3. Chapter 3

John's talk with Sam lasted a lot longer than Dean thought it would. As he lay curled in Cas' arms, he could still hear raised voices. Sam had thrown him a curve ball with his reaction. Dean had expected his brother to smile and nod like he already knew. Sam's reaction made no sense, Dean knew he had a Lesbian friend, Charlie or something like that. The point was, Dean knew Sam didn't have a problem with homosexuality... at least he thought he didn't. Dean wasn't sure what to think anymore, his brain was working overtime, trying to see the brother he had known most of his life to the rage filled teen that had stalked away from the dinner table. 

A particularly loud yell caused Cas' arms to tighten around him and Dean could tell it marked the end to the discussion that was going on, and it didn't seem to have done anything other than make everyone more angry. Cas dropped a kiss on his neck in the ensuing silence, "He doesn't mean it, he just doesn't know what to do right now. The image he has always had of you changed and he wasn't ready for it."

Dean sighed, "I don't know, i think he hates me."

"He loves you, don't you ever think otherwise. He just needs time to realize that you are still you, the big brother he has always looked up to and adored." Cas lightly flicked Dean's ear to emphasize his words.

Dean made a sound of amused disbelief before turning in Cas' arms to come face to face, "Did you just flick me? Cause it felt like you did."

Cas shrugged, "Indeed, I may have done such a thing. Why?"

Again Dean made the noise that seemed to signal a sort of playfulness, "Really Cas, is that how you are going to play it?"

"I have no idea to what you are referring." Dean looked gobsmacked at the words, his mouth hanging open before he broke into a quiet fit of giggles. Cas smiled asthose giggles brought tears to Dean's eyes. Cas wasn't sure if they were sad or happy tears but decided to just let Dean cry it out either way. Besides, Dean would never admit to real crying and would probably try to stop the tears. Dean eventually quieted down and fell into a light sleep, leaving Cas to his thoughts of how to cheer up his boyfriend and knock some sense into said boyfriend's little brother. He thinks Dean mentioned something about Sam seeing this girl named Jess, maybe she could help. Cas continued thinking about things, even as he felt himself slipping into sleep.

Both boys woke late the next day, the previous day having taken it's toll. Dean blinked slowly, allowing his eyes to adjust to the harsh sunlight streaming in the window. He felt Cas move and smiled up at the other man's face, "Hey babe."

Cas returned the smile, "Dean, you look lovely this morning."

Dean huffed, "You are just saying that, i know i look like shit, I spent half the night crying."

Cas frowned, "You had every right to."

Dean waved off the words as he pulled himself from the bed and started getting himself ready, hoping that Sam hadn't left for school yet. He really wanted to talk to the kid. His hopes were shattered though when he made his way down stairs, Cas trailing behind him and found his parents silently sitting at the table. Dean looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of his brother, but Mary shook her head, "He left early for school." Dean's eyes dropped to the floor as he took a seat at the table. Mary's hand found it's way to her son's shoulder, "Don't worry about it, he'll get his head out of his ass eventually." Dean's head snapped up, his eyes wide with surprise at his mother's words, causing her to laugh.

Dean chuckled a bit himself, "Mom, seriously, give me a heart attack why don't you? I've never heard you talk like that."

Mary shrugged, "My boys have never hurt each other like this before."

Dean smiled and grabbed a piece of bacon, "I'm gonna go for a walk, drop by Jo's. It will be nice to see Ellen." Mary smiled, motioning for Dean to go ahead. John gave him a pat on the shoulder as he walked by, his hand tightly encased by Cas's. Dean smiled as Cas followed him out the door and down the familiar streets to the Roadhouse. Dean came to a stop when the old bar came into view. A quick squeeze of the hand from Cas had Dean moving forward again. Dean took a breath and opened the door.

Ellen smiled when she looked up, "Jo! You didn't tell me Dean was coming by." Dean heard the slap of running feet at Ellen's words and watched as Jo tripped through the door to the back room, her smile wide.

Jo righted herself, "Well i wasn't expecting him by so soon."

Ellen rolled her eyes, "And who is this handsome feller."

Dean gave Jo a look and the girls eyes brightened, "Dean's boyfriend, Cas."

Ellen paused a second, "Was wondering when you were gonna figure that out."

Dean gaped, "You knew?"

Ellen laughed, "Hon, you ain't exactly subtle. You checked out the ass of every man that ever walked in this place since you turned 16." Dean blushed at realizing Ellen had seen him but the woman ignored it and continued, "I was just waiting for you to admit it. Won me $50 off Rufus, damn idiot thought you would live in denial and marry some yoga teacher or something."

Dean couldn't believe it, had everyone one known before him, "Rufus knows?"

Ellen nodded, "And Bobby, and Ash, and Garth and pretty much everyone but that family of yours. Though I'm thinkin they know now if you are going around introducing your boyfriend to everybody." Dean's face fell and both Harvelle women saw it instantly. Ellen clucked her tounge, "Oh Hon, what happened?"

Dean shook his head and Cas took the opportunity to speak up, "Sam did not react as expected."

Jo's eyes narrowed, "What did that idiot do?"

Dean shook his head again, "Nothing."

Cas let out an uncharacteristic huff, "He insulted you and implied that I infected you with homosexuality."

Ellen growled, "He did what?!? I need to have a talk with that boy, get his head on straight."

"It's alright, I think I need to be the one to talk to him." Dean's words were quiet but clear and Ellen nodded in acknowledgement. The boys stayed a while longer, talking with the two women before deciding it was time to head back. Ellen waved at them as they left, Jo yelling at them that if they didn't come by again she would shoot them. Dean smiled as he walked away.

Dean was still smiling as he turned to say something to Cas, but before the words made it out of his mouth he saw Cas's eyes widen and heard the squeal of tires only seconds before he felt the impact. Dean felt himself fly through the air and hit the ground with a solid thud. He heard Ellen and Jo screaming, Cas' gentle voice urging him to stay awake as soft hands pulled him into a warm embrace. As his eyes slipped shut, Dean wondered if Sam would be alright without him.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel watches as the world slows and the car crashes into Dean, sending him flying. Just as quickly as the world slowed, it sped up again and Cas found himself by Dean's side, trying to comfort him and keep him awake while carefully avoiding the clearly, painfully broken leg , the likely broken ribs, the countless bruises and small cuts as well as the bleeding head wound from where Dean's head hit the concrete sidewalk. Cas ignores all that and cradles Dean's head in his lap, crying slightly as he pleads for Dean to keep his beautiful green eyes open, to stay awake, to stay alive. It seems years later when Cas hears sirens and knows someone called an ambulance, but whether it was the driver or a passerby, he doesn't know. Not until the paramedics chase him away from Dean and he finds himself folded up in Ellen's arms with Jo clinging tightly to his hand. Ellen's voice is strong but Cas can hear the pain in it as she whispers, "It's alright, he'll be ok. He'll be fine. I know he will." She mumbles into his ear the comforting mantra as the paramedics strap Dean to a gurney and put him in the ambulance. 

As the vehicle pulls away Cas pulls away from Ellen, "Dean... Dean's parents, we have to tell them." It's something he knows he has to do, it wouldn't be right if the found out from an impersonal phone call from the hospital. Cas knows from when his mom passed away, that wasn't something anyone wanted.

Ellen nods and Cas zones out as he is directed to a car and strapped inside. Ellen or Jo is saying something but he isn't sure what or who, he can't seem to focus on anything other than the blood on his hands, under his fingernails. It's Dean's blood, Dean's blood shouldn't be on his hands, it should be inside Dean. Cas is pulled from his blood stained hands when the car stops, he hadn't realized it had been moving. When he looks out the window, he sees Dean's house, his precious car that they had left because, ' It's only three blocks away Cas, what harm will walking do? Besides, I could use the fresh air.' Cas wishes he had protested, had made Dean drive. If Dean drove he wouldn't have been on the sidewalk, wouldn't have gotten hit by that car. A part of Cas thinks Dean is probably happy his baby hadn't been anywhere near the crash.

Cas pulls himself from the car and his thoughts and makes his way to the door. He knocks. He waits. Mary opens the door smiling, "Dean did you forget your key agai..." Mary stops abruptly as she catches sight of Cas. She takes in his grim expression and her smile falls. Her eyes flick to his bloody hands and Cas thinks he sees tears in her eyes. "What happened? Is he ok?" 

Cas opens his mouth to speak but can't make the words form on his tongue. Ellen comes to the rescue, "Dean was hit by a car." Mary gasps, her hand flying to her mouth but she listens as Ellen talks, "The driver, we aren't sure what happened but he wasn't right. They think he had a stroke or a reaction to medication or something. He just ran up onto the curb. Dean was closest to the road. Ambulance came and got him, took him to the hospital, I think he was still awake. He was when the ambulance got there anyways." Ellen's voice softens, "Why don't you grab John and Sam if they are home and I'll take ya'll to the hospital." Mary nods and disappears inside, moments later Cas hears John... well Cas can only call it a scream. It sounds like Dean's name. Then John is at the door, his eyes wide and staring in disbelief at Cas, until he sees the blood. Cas has never seen a grown man cry before, he hopes he never does again. John's tears are painful to watch, even if they are few and shed quietly. The pain in his eyes is too much to bear, so Cas looks away.

Apparently, Sam isn't home because they are all in the car again, this time on their way to the hospital with the addition of Mary and John. When they get there, a nurse directs them to a waiting room and they sit, and they wait. Mary tries calling Sam, but he doesn't answer. She leaves increasingly desperate messages, asking him to call, to 'answer his phone dammit'. Cas thinks Sam will be surprised by the language his mom is going to end up using if he doesn't answer the phone soon. Mary eventually gives up, she knows Sam is safe, is with his girlfriend, Jess would have called if anything happened.

Then the doctor comes, "Family of Dean Winchester." The five of them stand. The doctor looks momentarily taken aback by the stony look on Ellen and Jo's faces but quickly recovers, "Dean will be fine, most of his wounds were superficial, bruising, cut, cracked ribs. The head injury is much better than we originally thought, most likely only a mild concussion. The problem, is his leg. When he was hit, the bone in his lower leg snapped, it went through skin and tendon and tore nerve endings. We repaired it surgically but there is still a lot of healing to do. He's going to need extensive physical therapy but chances are he might not regain complete use of the limb. It may be that he has a slight limp the rest of his life and that's all but you need to be prepared for the possibility that the nerves in that part of the leg were too damaged. If that is the case, he won't be able to do anything more than stand for short periods of time on that leg."

Cas watches as the doctor give the Winchesters information on physical therapists, tells them when Dean will likely wake up. He doesn't know what to do. What if Dean can't walk? Dean has always loved sports, he was a very active man. What would Dean do if he couldn't play sports? Cas stopped mid thought and he realized something, it was his right leg. Cas realizes he must have said that aloud when everyone looks at him. The doctor nods in conformation and Cas swallows so he can ask his question, "Will... can Dean drive, if he can no longer stand for long periods, will he be able to drive?" John must understand what Cas is asking, because the man pales.

The doctor looks slightly confused as he answers, "That will be one of the things we will be looking out for. If certain nerves don't repair themselves, it possible that Dean won't be able to drive by conventional means anymore."

By now it seems the rest of the group has caught on and they are all wondering the same thing, what will Dean do if he can never drive the Impala again?

Everyone is drawn from their horrified musings as Mary's phone rings. She looks at the screen and pauses, "Oh God, it's Sam."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a doctor, don't judge me if I get stuff wrong. 
> 
> Is it weird that i totally cried when I wrote the part about the Impala?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen Wolf reference!

Sam sighed as he slipped out the house early, barely getting by his parents without more then disapproving looks. He knew he was being a shit brother but he couldn't help it. Dean wasn't Dean anymore, well, it didn't feel like he was. This Dean was a stranger, a man who didn't tell Sam things, who kept secrets. His Dean didn't do that. Sam was so distracted that he barely noticed when he walked up to the school until someone called his name. Sam turned and smiled when he saw Jess and Charlie. "Hey guys."

Jess smiled and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek, causing Charlie to fake gag, "You guys are too much! The sweetness is overwhelming."

Jess playfully slapped her friends shoulder, giving the other girl an amused look. She turned back to Sam and looked at him for a moment,"Is everything alright Sammy?"

Sam flinched a bit at Dean's nickname for him but the girls didn't seem to catch it, "It's fine, Dean came home yesterday. He brought someone home, it's just been a little awkward is all." Jess looked at him like she knew he wasn't telling the whole story but she let it go when the bell rang, making sure she remembered to bring it up later when they were studying at her place.

The day went by quickly, Sam thought so at least. He was distracted and in his own mind most of the time anyways. As soon as the last bell rang, he smiled and headed to find his girlfriend, eager to get to her house and study. And, since it was Sam, there would be actual studying going on, yeah he was weird like that. Charlie might even be coming and Sam was happy to have her there, she could keep Jess distracted from seeing that something was bothering him. 

Sam smiled as the girls walked with him to Jess' house, both of them talking animatedly about some show on MTV. They seemed to be debating the canon of something called Sterek, whatever that was. It actually sounded kinda violent, shoving against walls, almost drowning, cutting arms off... Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know what that last one was about. Charlie was apparently all for it, said she always liked the idea of talk dark and silent with the lovable asshole. Sam's thoughts jumped back to his brother. How could Dean do that to him, how could Dean act like he liked girls, how could Dean lie to him and keep secrets. Sam didn't like it, didn't like Castiel, didn't like anything about the situation. He wanted his brother back, no boyfriend, just his brother. Castiel was the problem anyways, the one that made his brother lie to him, made him a different Dean. 

He must have been scowling because Charlie spoke up when they Jess' house, "You know, your face will stick that way if you keep it like that too long." Charlie smiled, "What's up with the face Mr. McBroody?"

Sam shook his head as they walked up the stairs to Jess' room but the two girls gave him a look. He sighed and sat on the edge of Jess' bed, "Have you ever thought you knew some one, were really close to them and then found out they were a completely different person? That they had been lying to you the whole time and you had no idea?"

Jess shook her head, looking over at Charlie who looked confused, "Sam, what is this about?"

Sam looked up at his girlfriend, "Dean."

Charlie and Jess looked even more confused, "Sam, what about Dean."

Sam wasn't sure who asked, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Jess thought back, "Is this about the girl he brought home?"

Sam shook his head, "Dean didn't bring a girl home."

Charlie tilted her head, "But you said he brought someone... Oh." Charlie crossed her arms, an insulted look on her face, "You're mad at him cause he's gay?"

Jess gasped, "Sam!"

Sam shook his head, trying to think of a way to explain it, "No! He lied to me! He pretended he liked girls, told me about them. How can he be my brother if he does that to me? He never told me that he..." Sam let out a frustrated sound.

Charlie huffed, clearly annoyed, "You know, just because he's gay doesn't make him a different person. Heck, he might not even be gay, maybe he's bi for crying out loud!"

Sam screeched, "He still never told me! I tell him everything, EVERYTHING, and he couldn't tell me this one thing?"

Jess sighed, "Sam, remember when Charlie came out? How boys joked her and girls avoided her for a while? Do you know how much harder it is for guys?"

Charlie nodded, "Yeah, my cousin is gay and when he came out, he went from being on the football team to being below the stoners on the social food chain. He lives in Detroit, a big city and it was that bad. Do you realize how bad it could be for Dean in a small town like ours? How he had to know that? He was probably scared shitless at the though of coming out, I know I sure as hell was."

Sam sighed softly, "He still could have told me."

Jess looked at her boyfriend softly, "We can't go back and change it, we can only go forward. Why don't you go talk to him?"

Sam looked away, ashamed at his actions now that he had gotten a little perspective, "I don't thing he will want to talk to me."

"Why not?" Jess had genuine curiosity in her voice, wondering what could have happened to make Dean not want to talk to Sam. Dean loved Sam, took him everywhere, taught him everything, heck Jess knew that Dean had even taught Sam how to shoot in secret cause their Dad wouldn't.

Sam couldn't meet Jess' eyes as he mumbled his response. Jess couldn't make it out but Charlie could, well, based of her outraged yell anyways, "YOU DID WHAT!?!"

Sam cringed, "I yelled at him. Told him there was something wrong with him... I called him a fag."

Jess opened her mouth and shock and did the only thing she could in the situation, she slapped Sam across the face. Sam looked at her bewildered and she glared back in challenge, "Sam how could you! Never mind the fact that your best friend is a lesbian, how could you say those things to your brother?!?"

Sam looked sad, "I don't know, I wish I could take it all back but I can't."

Jess crossed her arms, Charlie standing behind her in the same position, "Well, you need to talk to him right now and apologize. If you can't, then we need to take a break."

Sam nodded numbly and fished out his phone. He hadn't turned it back on after school got out so he did that and was almost immediately bombarded by all the missed calls and voice mails from his mom, He looked at it a second and then hit the button to listen to the messages. His mom sounded scared, like she was crying. She kept telling him to answer his phone, to call her. Jess and Charlie could hear some of it and they looked almost as worried as he felt. When the messages stopped, he hit the speed dial for his mother. 

She answered after a few rings, "Sam?" her voice sounded tight and thin, like she had been crying. It made Sam more worried.

"Yeah mom?"

Sam heard as she breathed in relief, "Oh thank God. Sam, I need you to come to the hospital."

Sam looked at the two girls with him, "The hospital? Mom, is Dad ok?"

"Your, your father is fine..." She stopped short.

Sam was even more worried, "Mom what is it? Who is in the Hospital?"

Mary let out a shuddering breath, trying to keep the tears from her voice, "It's Dean, Sam. He was hit by a car."

Sam nodded numbly, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Sam hung up the phone then stared at it in his hand for a moment. Jess reached out a hand, "Sam what's wrong? Who is in the hospital?"

Sam looked up, tears in his eyes, "Dean... Dean got hit by a car."

Charlie and Jess gasped. Charlie leaped forward, "We need to get there, Jess can your mom drive us?"

Jess nodded, taking Sam's hand and rushing down the stairs, "MOM!" When Jess' mom stepped out of the kitchen she took in the state of them and looked at her daughter questioningly. Jess took a deep breath, "We need you to take us to the hospital, Sam brother got hit by a car." Mrs. Moore's hand flew to her mouth as she nodded and herded the group to her car.

Sam sat looking out the window as they drove, wondering if this was his punishment? Sam knew it wasn't his fault but it felt like it. What if Dean died? What if there was irreparable damage? Sam was smart, he knew that if a pedestrian was hit by a car there was a high chance they might not ever walk again. 

When they reached the hospital, Sam was out of the car in seconds and running towards the waiting room with Jess and Charlie on his heels. When Sam got there, the room was silent, everyone looking at the Doctor. Sam looked between the man and his parents, "Is Dean alright?" No one answered him so he turned to the doctor.

The man cleared his throat, "I was just telling your parents options for physical therapy."

Sam sighed, "So he's ok?"

The doctor nodded, "Dean will recover nicely for the most part."

Sam looked back to his girlfriend who gripped his hand in a show of support, "What do you mean for the most part?"

The doctor glanced at Mary and John who gave a quick nod, "Dean's lower right leg was shattered from the impact of the car, there is a possibility that he might not regain use of the leg or only partial use."

Sam sat down with a solid thump, he thought his brother being gay changed him, made him a different person, what would being crippled do to Dean? Dean was strong, but what if the damage was too bad? What if Dean could never walk again? All Sam wanted was to comfort his older brother, give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be ok, but he didn't even know if Dean would want to see him after the things he said. What would Sam do if Dean never wanted to see him again?


	6. Chapter 6

When the car hit him, Dean had felt the worst pain he had ever felt in his life. Now, the pain seems to be hiding in the back of his mind because at the moment, it feels like he is floating on a cloud of pie, yeah Dean's pretty sure he is on some really heavy duty pain meds, at least that might explain why he can't feel his leg. Dean's eyes snap open, oh God, his leg. A quick look reassures Dean that it's still there, but he can't feel it or move it from the knee down. Dean's heart monitor spikes and a few moments later a pretty nurse comes in, pleasantly surprised to find him awake. Dean didn't pay much attention to her, he's too bust staring at his leg as if he can make it move with his eyes... it doesn't work. She says something but he doesn't pay attention. It's because he is so preoccupied, that he doesn't hear the nurse leave, or the doctor enter, or even the doctor leave. He had kinda nodded at the noise that must have been someone's voice. It's not until the door opens again that Dean snaps out of it but only because of the hug he finds himself engulfed in. Turns out the hugger had been a double team of his parents. Mary smiles, "You scared us Dean, please never do that again." Dean stays silent. 

John shifts his weight awkwardly, "Um if it's alright, a lot of people want to see you." Dean doesn't move.

Mary and John exchange a look and open the door to Sam and Cas. Sam looks like he wants to hug Dean but hold back, "Oh God Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I was mad for stupid reasons and none of them were your fault and I wish you would forgive me." Dean doesn't even blink.

Sam moves back, disappointment on his face. Cas steps up, laying a hand on Deans and simply leans over and presses a kiss to Dean's temple. Cas moves to the door to allow the next group in but stop short. "Cas." Dean's voice is harsh and gravelly but soft and barely there, holding in everything Dean wants to say, to ask. "Why can't I move my leg?" Mary chokes on tears at the quiet question, prompting John to put an arm around her.

Cas is back at his bedside in an instant, "It was severely damaged in the incident. There is a probability that it may not heal completely."

Dean finally moves, tearing his gaze from his dead leg, "Cas, I can't feel it." The words are whispered and full of pain, not physical pain, but emotional turmoil and psychological upheaval. 

Cas brings Dean's head to rest against his chest and croons softly, "I know Dean, I know." And Cas does, he wishes nothing more than to be able to change that, to give Dean his leg back, to make it work. But Cas can't do that and Dean might never walk again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's short, but the scene wouldn't get out of my head! I had to write it, the plot bunnies insisted.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam watches as Dean does his physical therapy, it's been weeks since the accident but Dean's leg refuses to even twitch. Sam can't bring himself to bring up what happened before the accident, he isn't sure Dean can handle it. Cas went back to school, he visits every weekend though and always brings armfuls of get well cards. Even Dean's professors are sending cards, apparently they love him and think he's a hard worker. It's a bit of a change from high school where he was getting detention constantly. Cas has been great, he's there for Dean, like Sam can't be. Sometimes, Sam wonders how he could have ever even imagined hating this guy, he loves Dean to much for Sam to do that. Heck, Cas even petitioned to get Dean special privilege to allow him to continue classes from home. Now Dean watches lectures through a web cam when he isn't in PT. What worries Sam though, is that Dean isn't happy. Sam sees it when Dean is alone and sits there staring at his leg as if he can make it move through sheer force of will. Dean always looks disappointed when it doesn't move. The look on his face when that happens, it makes Sam want to cry. When they first brought him home from the hospital, Dean's face lit up at the sight of the Impala in the driveway, then his face fell as he tried to climb out of the car and promptly collapsed into John's arms. That was when Dean realized he couldn't drive his car, the agony and despair that flitted through Dean's eyes were something Sam never wished to see on his brother's face again. Dean had cried for days after that, not that anyone saw. Dean tried to keep up a brave face, but Sam's room was next to Dean's, and Sam heard as Dean cried in Cas' arms. Dean opened up with Cas, it made Sam a little jealous. But Sam understood that Cas knows Dean in a way they don't, can be there for him in ways they can't, it makes Sam happy that Dean has someone there for him like that.

Sam cringes as he hears the crash of weights and looks up to see Dean looking defeated and the nurse gathering up the mess caused when Dean threw the leg weight he had been trying to lift for almost twenty minutes. Sam runs up to Dean and gathers him into a hug. He mouths a sorry to the nurse who shrugs and smiles in a way that tells Sam he was actually expecting Dean's outburst. Sam helps Dean into his wheelchair and sighs as he directs Dean back to the parking lot where Mary will probably be waiting.

She takes one look at them and knows things didn't go well. "Dean, you just need..."

Dean cuts her off, "I know I need to be patient, every one tells me I need to be patient, I get that I need to be patient." Dean's voice is harsh and irritated, "What I want is for everyone to stop telling me that, to stop saying it will all work out, that things happen for a reason. In fact, if they aren't there to tell me they know how to get my leg working again, I don't want them to say anything to me at all."

Mary opens her mouth to reply, not quite sure what to say, but a shake of the head from Sam stops her. Sam looks his mother in the eye and tries to convey that he will talk to Dean when they get home. Mary seems to get the message and lets the subject drop.

When they get home, Dean drags himself up the stairs and to his room, he refused to be moved downstairs, it had been the one thing he insisted upon. Sam gives Dean enough time to get settled in his room then makes the trek to join him. Sam doesn't even bother to knock, just strolls right in. Dean turns his back to the door from his place laying on the bed. Sam take a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

It obviously hadn't been what Dean was expecting, as Dean flips over to face Sam immediately, a question on his face. Sam readies himself and talks, "When Cas came, I was mean. I said things you should never say to your brother and I wish more than anything that I could take them back. I was mad that you didn't tell me, that you kept a secret from me. I didn't mean anything that I said but that doesn't excuse that fact that I said it. I'm sorry Dean, I wish I could be a better brother for you, that you could somehow forgive me."

Dean looks at Sam open mouthed, he hadn't known that Sam felt that way, "Sam, you are the best brother, I wouldn't have anyone else be my brother but you. And I forgave you almost right after you said those things. I'm sorry if you thought I was still mad. I guess I haven't been very approachable lately."

Sam chuckled, "That's an understatement, you've been all Ice Queen for weeks."

Dean frowned, "I'm not an Ice Queen."

Sam raised an eyebrow and Dean scowled. Sam laughed, it almost felt like Dean was back. Sam sat on the edge of Dean's bed and leaned over to give Dean a light punch. Dean playfully nudged him with his foot.

They froze.

Dean and Sam looked down at Dean's leg, had it just moved? Dean maneuvered himself into a sitting position and looked down at his right leg. Very slowly, Dean tried to just curl his toes, they moved. Dean let out a sound of surprise and happiness. Mary, John and Cas were soon rushing into the room, worried looks on their faces. Dean looked up to see them, his eyes shining with tears of happiness. Cas made his way to Dean's side, "What is it?"

Dean smiled big and wide, "I moved my toes Cas, I moved my toes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should this be the end or do you want to see more?


End file.
